No two families are the same, however, there are several different styles of separated parenting. Which style can you identify with the most?

Continued conflicted co-parenting

  • inability to compromise
  • poor/no communication with the other parent
  • lots of blaming the other parent
  • inability to keep the conflict away from the children
  • often the children are used to carry messages between the parents
  • often lack insight into the childs needs and impact of the conflict on the child
  • high rates of litigation or sustained legal involvement
  • there may be Court Orders or a parenting plan that is held tightly to
  • little to no flexibility
  • little to no trust of the other parent
  • no consistency (at least not that is known) in terms of routines and rules across the households

Parallel co-parenting

  • limited ability to compromise
  • some communication with the other parent, often by email or text, not  by phone or in person
  • some inability to keep the conflict away from the children
  • sometimes uses children to pass messages between households
  • usually parents follow a written plan with limited flexibility
  • some insight into the impact on the children
  • little consistency of routines and rules across the household
  • some trust of the other parent, but not a whole lot

Co-operative co-parenting

  • high levels of regular communication between the parents (not just email/text)
  • proven ability to compromise
  • ability to be flexible with the parenting plan
  • ability to see the impact of your actions on the children and make adjustments if necessary.
  • keeps any parenting conflict away from the children
  • does not use children to carry messages between households
  • some consistency of routines and rules between the households (or at least knowledge of what they are in the other house)
  • there may or may not be a written plan
  • can deal with changes in circumstances (even if some outside assistance is required)

Of course it is rare to fit neatly into one of these categories, and you may, at different times fall into each different style of parenting.  Being mindful of where you are is always the first step to change.  So, what style of co-parenting are you using at the moment?